The COVID-19 pandemic and its associated lockdown orders caused an abrupt and complex disruption to conventional patterns of work and home life for many families. For example, in a U.K. study, at the start of the pandemic, parents of children younger than 12 spent nearly 50 more hours per week caring for their children than they did before the pandemic. Although most of this additional child care was provided by mothers, fathers also increased their involvement in child care and household tasks, at least at the beginning of the pandemic.
We explored fathers’ experiences of lockdown and the impact of this increased time with their children on men’s views of their relationship with their children and their family-work life balance.
We interviewed 15 Australian fathers, aged between 33 and 59, who were part of a larger study investigating fathers’ involvement in parenting young children at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Most parenting research captures only mothers’ experiences, and during the pandemic, most studies focused on the number of hours parents spent on different household and child care activities.
In contrast, our study looked at how fathers felt about their parenting and work-family life balance. Our aim was to identify whether lockdown experiences served as a catalyst for some fathers to think differently about their future parenting and how they wanted to spend their time.
The Australian fathers we talked to were all married to women and lived with their children (ages 4 months to 10 years). Most fathers were employed full time and worked from home during the pandemic. We interviewed them about four main topics:
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We analyzed recordings of our interviews with fathers to identify commonalities in the responses. The three main themes we identified reflected the importance of being present as a father:
Fathers said one of the more fundamental learning experiences of the lockdown was that they noticed the extent to which their engagement with their children affected their relationship positively. Studies have shown the importance of fathers taking an active role in their children’s development, with fathers experiencing a sense of loss from missing important milestones and having a perceived lack of closeness with their children. The increase in shared experiences during the pandemic may have a long-term positive impact on fathers and their children.
We followed up with 10 fathers one year after the initial interviews to examine the impact of their experiences. Although many couples in the United Kingdom with young children returned to the traditional gender divide in child care and household responsibilities within six months, our follow-up survey revealed that 9 of the 10 Australian fathers had changed their working patterns.
After their experiences of parenting during lockdowns, many of these fathers made changes so they could be more actively involved in their children’s care, such as doing more school pickups and dropoffs.
Several fathers said they perceived positive changes in the attitudes and behaviors of their workplace managers and colleagues. Following the lockdowns, these fathers’ workplace culture shifted, with flexible hours less frowned upon and, as one father noted, “no stigma anymore.” However, other fathers still felt an unspoken stigma in the workplace about taking leave or leaving work early to spend time with their children.
After their experiences of parenting during lockdowns, many of these fathers made changes so they could be more actively involved in their children’s care, such as doing more school pickups and dropoffs.
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When asked about division of household chores during the lockdowns, most fathers in our study used phrases such as “chipping in” or “helping out” their partners. These terms were evident even among fathers who had sought an equal split in household responsibilities before the pandemic began. This idea of the father as a helper or assistant in the home may reflect a cultural norm as opposed to an unwillingness to engage in household chores.
Fathers in our study identified a lack of confidence in themselves and other fathers in their social circle in their ability to parent. This could be due to a lack of opportunity to spend time with their children from infancy, and to a hesitancy to seek out flexible working arrangements, which could build fathers’ skills and self-confidence in child care and household activities. Because fathers’ roles tend to be less scripted than mothers’, they are frequently more susceptible to contextual influences.
Fathers in our study identified a lack of confidence in themselves and other fathers in their social circle in their ability to parent.
Despite the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic and its consequent lockdowns, the Australian fathers we interviewed valued the opportunity to spend more time with their children. These fathers, most of whom were in stable relationships and full-time employment, said their desire to be active and present for their children was obstructed by workplace attitudes, the perception of themselves as “assisting” or “helping” with household chores, and conflicting demands at work and at home.
Our findings suggest that the start of the COVID-19 pandemic and imposed lockdowns provided the opportunity for some fathers to adjust their roles and responsibilities at home, and to see the impact of these changes. Past research has come to similar conclusions when fathers lose their employment or are otherwise unable to engage in paid work.
But the widespread, sudden, synchronized disruption of schools and businesses during the lockdowns may have made this experience a unique catalyst for change. Many of the barriers fathers mentioned, such as lack of flexible work arrangements, were removed. Fathers could pursue opportunities to be more involved in parenting, something that many said they wanted before the pandemic but were unable to pursue.
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