Rewarding children for good behaviour works better than criticising and punishing children for unacceptable behaviour. Positive attention and praise are the best rewards parents can give to a child of any age. Even small children really want to please their parents.
Say positive things It’s easy to say positive things to children, and it helps them learn. Children blossom when they are praised for things they have done well.
• You did well!
• Thank you for putting that away.
• What a helpful boy – thanks for drying the dishes.
• I’m really proud of you for sharing your toy.
• Great! What a tidy room.
It’s easy to say positive things to children, and it helps them learn. Children blossom when they are praised for things they have done well. • You did well!
• Thank you for putting that away.
• What a helpful boy – thanks for drying the dishes.
• I’m really proud of you for sharing your toy.
• Great! What a tidy room.
Look out for success Notice good and improved behaviour. Children may behave badly if their positive behaviour goes unnoticed or if negative behaviour gets them lots of attention.
Be affectionate Look and smile at your children when you talk to them. Reward good behaviour with smiles, kisses and hugs.
Comment on improvements
• I liked the way you sorted out who had the first turn on the bike.
• You were very quiet while I was on the phone. I like that a lot
Use humour and surprise
• Wow! You were the first one to eat all your dinner.
Tell someone else
• Dad, I have something very special to tell you. Susan and Tony played together all day and took turns without arguing.
Link good behaviour and enjoyable activities
• After you have cleaned up I will read you a story.
• You can play with your train after you have finished that.
Avoid put-downs Don’t call children names like “dummy”, “dick” or “idiot”. And avoid telling them they are stupid or dumb. They may begin to believe what you say and stop trying.
Say sorry if you make a mistake Everyone loses their cool occasionally. If in the heat of the moment you say something you regret, say sorry. You’ll be surprised at the response you’ll get. Kids feel valued when adults apologise to them.
to be continued...
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